Bite My Heart
by loveatfirstsite2
Summary: This is no fairy tale. Neither is it a happily ever after. This is death. Bella is pushed to the extreme when a fatal accident kills the one man she ever loved. Can she fix what has already happened? Can she bring Edward Cullen back from the dead?
1. Preface: Past Life

**PREFACE**

The clock ticked slowly, reminding me of why I was here in the first place. _Where is he?_ I peered around the garden, my eyes searching. Something caught my eye suddenly, and I swerved around. He was standing there. His brown hair blew slightly in the wind and his green eyes bore strait through me. Not quite the vampire I had known, but the same man still. For now, I was content. Content that I had finally seen some of his past…Content that I had met the Edward Masen I had always wanted to meet. The _human_ Edward.

"Goodbye" I whispered. He smiled. I vanished in a second, leaving the past behind me.


	2. Goodbye Edward

**This is my second fanfic. It has nothing to do with The End of the Beginning, just something I wanted to write. I have no clue as to what this will become…Lets just say I'm winging it…To all my other readers, I owe you an update to The End of the Beginning…Don't worry…I'm hoping (fingers crossed) that it will be up in two weeks at the most…**

**Story contains New Moon spoilers. Rated T for violence, some language, and adult themes. **

**Summary-** **Her only love has died, leaving Bella in despair. Can she fix what has already happened? Can she bring Edward Cullen back from the dead? **

"Come on Bella, hurry up!" cried Alice, exasperated. We were standing in the middle of one of Seattle's small outlet malls, trying to figure out what in the world to buy. Well, at least I was anyway. Rosalie and Alice had dragged me to the clothing department, asking me to try on lots of outfits; none of which appealed to me whatsoever. I sighed.

"I told you, I don't need anything. I have tons of clothes back home." Rosalie turned from the dressing room mirror with a what-are-you-talking-about look.

"I mean tons of clothes for _me_ anyway. Seriously, you guys just go ahead and buy something. I'm fine!" Alice gracefully danced over to me with a determined look on her small face.

"You're going to buy something whether you like it or not. If you want to go home I suggest you start shopping now. That is of course, if you don't want to be cooped up in here all night." I stood there silently, slowly calculating my options. Running to the car wouldn't be the best choice-Alice would immediately drag me back. Staying here, wouldn't be any better either.

"Fine," I said, defeated, looking around for the nearest clothes. There was a black sleeved shirt hanging on the rack next to me. "This one," I said, pointing. Alice smiled and Rosalie looked over, a semi-interested look on her face.

"Ok," said Alice, her topaz eyes lighting. "Go try it on." I groaned. I was just planning to grab the closest shirt and run- not try it on in front of Alice and Rosalie. My normal looks would be nothing compared to them. Realizing I had no say in the manner, I took the shirt and went into the dressing room, changing and quickly walking to Alice.

"There. Can we leave now?" Alice's mouth was slightly agape. She squealed, wheeling me around to the mirror. I stared at the pale girl gazing back at me. Her hair was let down in a ripple of brown waves; the black top showed slight curves from her shoulders to her hips. It was a moment before I figured out that the girl was me.

Rosalie walked over in one brisk movement, staring at me carefully. "It looks good on you," she said, with what seemed like a great effort. Realizing that Rosalie had just complimented me, I smiled. After the incident in Volterra, she had become increasingly quiet around me, sometimes admiring my clothes or asking how Charlie was. It was weird-especially coming from Rosalie-, but I much preferred this new Rose to the one who had shot me dirty looks every time I walked by.

"See," said Alice. "It wasn't that hard."

"No, I guess not," I replied, changing into my original blouse and taking the black shirt to the cashier- along with the stack of clothes Rosalie and Alice had brought along too. Alice slid her credit card- with much complaining from me- and we walked to the mini cooper, sitting inside and driving off. As usual, Rose was driving high above the speed limit, unnoticed by any policemen. I settled into the back seat, looking over at Alice questioningly.

"I know what you're thinking," Alice said, suddenly. "But I still haven't gotten the chance to talk to him yet." I shrugged, looking away.

"It can wait."

"Bella, I know you want this. I don't even know why Edward is waiting to change you. With all the threats to us now, tuning you would be for the better. Trust me; what I said on the airplane that day hasn't changed. If Edward still doesn't agree, I'll do it myself." I turned to look at her, sullenly.

"Thanks Alice, but its ok. I know Edward will do it sooner or later. He's just…overprotective." Alice nodded her head in agreement.

"Since we're on the topic of Edward …have you thought about the answer to his proposal yet?"

"No," I sighed, truthfully. "There hasn't been time. With graduation and the whole thing with Jacob, I haven't had a chance to even think about it." The fact that Edward had proposed to me seemed like a joke in the beginning. Gradually, the truth started to sink in, and now, it hit me with full force. I didn't know what to say. Well, of course I wanted to say yes…but I just couldn't go off and get married. There was still so much to be done. Jacob still wasn't talking to me, Charlie had become increasingly depressed after Harry died, Victoria was still looming around, the Volturi were waiting on me to become a vampire, and to top it all off, Renee was expecting a baby any day now. Of everything in the world to happen, I was now having a baby sister! _So, I thought. The marriage will just have to wait a couple of months._

"Well, just know that he is waiting for an answer."

"Yeah," I sighed. The car suddenly slowed to a stop; we'd arrived at the Cullens house. I stepped out and walked to the door, waiting to see Edward's face. Someone lunged at me from behind and I was suddenly lying on the grass, my eyes closed out of habit.

"Wha…" I sputtered, spinning around. A pair of dazzling topaz eyes stared back at me, a crooked smile played across his face. I gasped like I usually did when Edward Cullen took me by surprise.

"I am sorry if I frightened you," he laughed. "I couldn't resist." My heart started pounding with such force, that I thought it was going to leap right out of my chest. "Here," he said, pulling me up with his strong, cold hands, and twirling me into his arms. "How was the shopping?" he whispered, trailing his finger down my cheek.

"G—good," I choked out, still recovering from shock.

"Really?"

"Well," I said, holding his hand and walking down the pathway to the house. "It was ok…I bought a shirt."

"Oh?" he asked, surprised. "Only one? I would have thought Alice and Rose brought out your inner shopping hunger." I laughed, saying hi to Carlisle and Esme, and walking up the white stairs to Edward's room.

"You of all people should know that shopping isn't really my thing. It's more like my moms obsession." We stepped into the room and Edward guided me to the couch, turning on Linkin Park's _Paper Cut. _

"I missed you," he murmured, trailing his finger up my arm. My breathing hitched and I held his other hand, tracing patterns. _This is the time. I need to tell him sooner or later._

"Edward," I wondered out loud, forcing myself to look into his angelic face.

"Yes?"

"About the proposal…I…Well, I…" Edward waited patiently for my answer.

"I've decided that this whole thing…I—I want to marry you," I blurted out, suddenly. Edward seemed stunned for a second, but then carefully pulled his face into a questioning look.

"Are you certain about your decision?" _Oh no Bella, look what you've gotten yourself into now! Why couldn't you just tell him the truth? Sorry Edward, but this will have to wait until later. Why? Why?!?!_ Because I love him, I thought to myself. I could never tell him no. Never in my life would I be able to turn him down. It would always be yes with Edward…always…

"Yes, I'm positive," I said, slowly.

"What is bothering you?" he questioned.

"Nothing," I said, unconvincingly. He waited for a moment, watching me.

"I reject my proposal."

"What? Why?" I asked, alarmed.

"I know you're not ready yet. You need time."

"How do you know that?" I asked, stubbornly.

"I can tell. Bella, I can not put what I want first. I know you need some time to take care of things. Worry about Renee; a wedding can wait." I sat silently, knowing that everything Edward had said was true. I_ did_ need time. Eighteen was just too…_soon. _Besides, I thought, Charlie and Mom would never approve. After what happened to them….I could just imagine Mom asking me how this "small crush" had turned into love.

"Ok," I sighed. Edward smiled, pressing his cold lips to the base of my throat. A knock came from the door and I startled, looking up.

"It's just Alice," Edward whispered, calming me. Just as he had said, Alice walked in, a phone in her pale hands.

"Charlie is about to call." Sure enough, a minute later, the phone rang. I picked it up, holding it up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" said a panicked voice on the other line.

"Yes Charlie?" I asked.

"We have to catch a plane for Phoenix right now. Renee just went into labor." _Already?_

"Oh. Ok, um…I'll be right there," I said, hanging up the phone, and looking at Edward.

"I'll take you," he said, pulling me to my feet and walking down the stairs. We left the house, stepping into the damp, rainy, evening.

"Get on my back," he instructed. I wordlessly climbed up, hooking my arms around his neck. In a second, the trees were flying past at top speed. I let the breeze whip through me, feeling the damp droplets cling to my hair. We were at the house in a couple of minutes. I stepped down and turned to face Edward.

"You're coming with me," I demanded.

"As much as I want to, I can't. This is personal. Your mother is having a baby and she's expecting you and Charlie to be there. Not me. Go to Phoenix. Stay there until Renee can handle it by herself." I stood there, the rain sprinkling down.

"I don't like being away from you. It makes me…anxious." Edward smiled, tightly.

"It should be the other way around. I can take care of myself Bella. It's _you_ I'm worried about. You always have a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time." I shrugged, glaring into his topaz eyes.

"But if you do anything…I mean _anything_ dangerous, I'll come marching back home on the next plane to Seattle. And don't think that you can do anything without my knowing. I'll have Alice watch you constantly. If you even _think_ of going after Victoria, or trying to fight Jacob or the Volturi or…or…" I finished, overwhelmed.

"Are you done?" he questioned. I sighed, nodding my head.

"I just don't want you to get hurt. I worry about you."

"As ironic as that sounds, I understand. I'll be fine Bella." He smiled, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ears. "Be safe; help Renee out." I chewed my bottom lip, looking into his perfect face. I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. It was one of those kisses I completely lost myself in. Time started ebbing away and my hands brushed against his stone chest. Although I knew taking advantage of him like this was wrong, I couldn't help it. He pulled away suddenly, looking into my eyes.

"I'm sorry; that went too far," he apologized.

"Bella," Charlie yelled from the front door. "What are you doing out there? Come inside! We might be able to catch the 7:30 flight." I looked at Edward.

"I'll come back as soon as I can. I love you." My hand left his, and I quickly walked to the door, turning back, but seeing only the dense trees and rain sprinkling downward. My feet led me upstairs. I quickly packed my suitcase with the necessary clothes and toiletries. In less then ten minutes, I was packed and ready- jumping into the car and heading to Seattle's airport.

"Who were you talking to outside?" asked Charlie, once we were on the road.

"…No one Charlie," I answered, determined not to let him know that I was with Edward. Charlie had still not gotten over the whole me leaving Forks to save Edward spiel.

"Oh. For a minute there I thought…never mind." The car ride was silent, the each of us absorbed in our own thoughts. Mom would need help with the baby for a while. I doubted Phil could take care of the newborn by himself. At the least, I would be in Phoenix for a month or two. I sighed. It's going to be a long day…

MEANWHILE…

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Victoria Returns…

Her red hair flared about her body as if she was on fire. She bent down, drinking the last fill of blood from the deer. _How pathetic, she thought. _For the past months, she had to resort to drinking blood from filthy animals. It wasn't _nearly_ as good as the humans she and James had hunted. _James. _His name brought back painful memories. The one that the Cullens- angry thoughts vibrated through her body at the sound of their name –had killed. They were responsible for this. And now, they would pay. One way or another, Victoria would find a way to kill the human. She had escaped twice by mere luck. But now, she was alone…No boyfriend to protect her…Victoria shook her hair back and laughed, silently. Revenge at last…

…**If at all you have any…and I stress ANY questions, do NOT hesitate to ask…my e-mail address is on my profile or you can ask me in a review…**

**Hope you liked it…**

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**--loveatfirstsite2--**


	3. Bite My Heart

**Memo: Thanks for the lovely reviews! All you people inspired me to write the second chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. That is the work of the amazing Stephenie Meyer!**

_A/N: Chapter has a lot of action in it and very little fluff…all the fluff will come next chapter! _

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Victoria Returns

I smiled, turning to the other members of my coven: Damien, William, and Analese. Since James had died, Laurent had left to stay with a coven in Alaska. He wanted to restrict his diet to only animals. Ha! Now what's the fun in that? I grinned. I couldn't wait to tell him of how I had drunk the blood from the girl that he had failed to kill. Oh, how much he was missing! Analese tapped my shoulder.

"Are you ready?" she sneered.

"Yes. Now remember the plan. Damien will cause the car accident. William will kill the father and Analese will move the car away. We don't want anyone knowing that this happened. Not until we leave."

"And what about the girl?" asked Damien. I smiled, wickedly.

"Leave her for me."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

BELLA POV

The drive was long and boring. I checked the dashboard clock on the police cruiser for the tenth time. Charlie had insisted we drive his car although I knew it would slow down traffic. We were still on one of the back roads, winding towards the Seattle airport. I sighed….Hours and hours still ahead of us…I looked out at the rain washed window and green trees. This would be the first time I left the Washington Peninsula since the fiasco in Italy…the first time I would leave Edward by choice. I tried not to think of it, instead picking up the CD player I had managed to bring along and popping my first CD in. A loud blaring noise met my ears and I knew that the song had begun…this was the CD Phil gave me—the one with the blaring noises and screaming. Once I'd gotten past the loud noises, it wasn't that bad. I sighed, resting my head against the seat; blocking out all thoughts…

……………

I startled, looking around. Charlie was still driving and, of course, it was raining. I must have fallen asleep, I thought.

"How long has it been since we left the house?" I asked. Charlie looked at me, surprised.

"Thirty minutes." Only thirty minutes? I knew I couldn't fall asleep again and even if I tried, I would just end up thinking about Edward—something I didn't want to do. Imagining his perfect face would bring up unwanted feelings. I hadn't been away from him since the Italy incident. Even then, I had no choice but to sulk and try to forget. Now that I knew he was back and staying, leaving was just harder. I missed his presence. Like a part of me was absent. It made me feel…on edge. I decided to call Phil—something to keep me busy. I picked up Charlie's phone and skimmed the contacts until I reached the right one, pressing it and waiting for an answer.

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered.

"Phil?" I asked, seeing Charlie gaze at me from the corner of my eye.

"Yes?" he questioned.

"It's Bella. How's mom?"

"In pain," he replied. "She wants you here."

"I know," I sighed. "Tell h…" a sudden crash made me drop the phone. I looked at Charlie. He was looking around, scared. I picked up the phone, quickly telling Phil I'd call him back.

"Wha—what was that?" Charlie looked at me, suddenly aware that I was there.

"Are you ok Bella?" he asked, hurriedly.

"I'm fine. Did we hit something?"

"Stay here, I'll go check." He got out of the car, running outside to check the front. I ignored Charlie's command and left the car, looking around the road for anything that might have hit the back. There was none. I ran around to the front. Charlie was bending down and staring at something, his mouth agape. I followed his gaze, seeing a huge dent in the car, the shape of two long hands.

"How in the..." he wondered out loud. At that moment, it hit me. One thought erupted through my mind like a thousand volcanoes._ Vampires. _I heard a growl behind me and whirled around, my heart stopping. _Victoria. _In a second she had thrown Charlie to the side. He landed with a thump by a tree, groaning. I was too scared to even think; my throat felt dry as paper, my mouth formed words but no sound came out. This was not at all like the four men in Port Angeles—I could have at least tried to take them down—this was Victoria; she could kill me in a second. She sauntered toward me, her mouth spread in a wide grin. I closed my eyes, waiting for it to be over. _Just kill me…Leave Charlie, leave everyone else…leave Edward…_Pain shot through me as I thought of his heavenly face. How much he had gone through to save me…everything going to waste now.

I squinted after a minute, looking around. She was nowhere in sight. I realized something cold was holding to me to the ground and I looked up. Alice. She was singing softly, holding my body carefully in place. I tried to speak, but shock still enveloped me. I gulped down air, letting the rain wash my face.

"A—Alice?" She looked down at me, her eyes wary.

"It's ok Bella. Everything is all right." I tried to sit up, but she kept me pinned down.

"It's better if you stay here. You're still in danger." I wanted to get up, wanted see what happened, but Alice was determined to keep me here. I sighed, impatiently.

"There was this accident. And Victoria was here. And then Charl…" she hushed me.

"I know. Edward and Emmett are taking care of it." I gasped, my worst fear coming to life.

"Edward!" I practically screamed to Alice. "No. He can't…he can't be…this is Victoria!" I finished, yelling now.

"Quiet Bella," Alice said, sternly. "Edward and Emmett are strong enough for Victoria. You should know that. They finished off James, what makes you think they can't do the same for her?" I shook my head, tears streaming down my face, catching on to my hair.

"It's not the same. She's…" I didn't get the chance to finish my sentence. At that second a pale figure stepped out of the trees—another one of them. He had shaggy black hair that fell to his chin. His eyes were deep burgundy, expression unreadable.

"You," he called in a cold voice, his eyes focused on me, quickly flashing to Alice. I thought I saw a flicker of fear cross her face, but it was gone in a second, replaced by anger. Alice spoke in a low voice, to quiet for my hearing. I took notice of the menace behind her words. The other vampire spoke back, quite fiercely. I managed to pick up something this time.

"Part of her coven…orders…kill girl…no need…fight…" I could pick up the gist of the argument. The vampire was probably part of Victoria's new coven. She wanted me dead—that was obvious. The last part I didn't understand. Alice and the vampire continued to bicker, Alice still holding me down. My thoughts were scattered, my heart pumping erratically. Fear boiled beneath my skin. Fear not for me, but for Edward. Fear for the danger he faced. Fear for whatever lay ahead. I was suddenly aware of the complete silence that pierced my ears. I looked up—the vampire was nowhere in sight. Alice was still glaring into the distance, frustrated. I didn't think I'd ever seen Alice so angry. Ever.

"Alice?" I questioned, softly. Her gaze turned to me, eyes gentle. "Are you alright?" She laughed; her musical voice had a slight edge.

"I'm fine. I'm more worried about you." I smiled, tentatively.

"I'm ok. Where did he go?" She turned to look at the forest again.

"Far away I hope."

"What did you tell him Alice?" I whispered. She paused, quickly looking down at me.

"Let's just say I scared him off." I shivered, involuntarily. I waited for a moment, focusing on getting my thoughts together.

"And Carlisle and Esme?" I asked. "Do they know?"

"I knew this would happen before it actually did," she said. "I had already told everyone. Edward was the first to react, of course. Emmett came with him—in case there was more danger. All I saw was the car swerving and Victoria standing by you. I wasn't aware that she'd joined a coven." She sighed. "There must be more of them." As if on cue, another figure stepped out. Alice immediately leapt up with inhuman speed, holding me behind her. I could recognize the face—Emmett. She relaxed her position, staring at him. They spoke in low tones. I tried to read their expressions. Alice was confused at a point, enraged the next, and then her face turned to deep sadness—the kind I would have never seen from Alice. Emmett's expression was somber too. I was apprehensive.

"What?" I asked when they stopped talking. Both of them didn't answer. "What is it?" I repeated, loudly this time. "Where is Edward?" Alice grimaced and Emmett looked away, shaking. "Emmett!" I yelled, shaking him. "Where is he?" Finally, Emmett spoke.

"He's…" Emmett started. Alice held me in her small arms, shaking slightly.

"He what Emmett?" I demanded, although I had a sick, miserable feeling in the bottom of my stomach.

"Edward……Edward is gone."

"Gone where?" I asked, hysterical now. They were trying to keep something from me and I needed to find out what.

"She could go into shock," Alice whispered to Emmett, quietly.

"Alice!" I whirled around to face her. She looked away, into the dense forest growth. "Alice what happened to him? Where is he? Tell me now or so help me God I will…" She cut me off, muttering something.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"Edward is…Edward is dead, Bella."

_A/N: Cliffhanger!!!! I know, I know…Authors love them, but readers hate them…Thanks for reading and please review! I need input to make the story better! If you are wondering about why Alice didn't see this coming, wait till' the next chapter—it will be explained there._

_Your writer,_

_--loveatfirstsite2--_


	4. Knives for the Heart and Soul

**Memo: Mid-winter break comes in handy…especially for quick updates…two bad our "break" consists of only two days off from school…O yeah zintha...this chapter is up faster then it usually is due to your nagging!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the rightful owner of all the characters! I just added a splash of my own ideas.**

**Previous Chapter:** **_"Edward……Edward is gone."_**

_**"Gone where?" I asked, hysterical now. They were trying to keep something from me and I needed to find out what.**_

_**"She could go into shock," Alice whispered to Emmett, quietly. **_

_**"Alice!" I whirled around to face her. She looked away, into the dense forest growth. "Alice what happened to him? Where is he? Tell me now or so help me God I will…" She cut me off, muttering something. **_

_**"What did you say?" I asked.**_

_**"Edward is…Edward is dead, Bella."**_

_Him and her  
Life is turned  
The day I knew you would leave  
I can barely breath  
Can you hear me scream?_

I looked at her in disbelief, my breathing turning into short gasps, mind a hazy fog.

"What—say that again?" I asked, weakly. I could feel my legs turning to jelly beneath me, my heart rate steadily rising. Alice looked away, still shaking.

"I should have seen this coming. I don't know why," her soprano voice cracked, filled with grief.

"You—you can't possibly mean that…that Edward…he…" I couldn't bring myself to say it; something that could have never, ever happened.

"Why are you doing this to me? It's a sick joke." I turned to Emmett, still looking in the opposite direction. "Emmett, what happened? Where is he?" Emmett turned to look at me, his normally bright eyes dull and shallow.

"Alice is telling the truth," he replied, slowly. I could feel myself getting dizzy. I lost my balance, falling to the ground, but Alice caught me. I waited. I waited for Emmett to say the punch line. I waited for Alice to tell me this was all just a stupid joke. I waited for Edward to waltz through the trees, an angel lighting up the forest, smiling his crooked smile. I waited…but nothing except the dull pounding of the rain met my ears.

"Emmett," I whispered, in an almost inaudible voice. "Tell me what really happened." He sighed, looking at me with those same miserable eyes.

"I saw it," he started, speeding up so that I had to concentrate my full efforts on catching all of the words. "I saw it all happen…Right before my eyes. Edward saw Victoria by you and he…he…went crazy. He was so angry." Emmett paused, looking into the distance, remembering some detail. "He disappeared, chasing her. I went after him, but another one of them stopped me. I thought she was working for Victoria. I gave her one choice: leave you alone or die. She wouldn't listen. I fought her, but she was weak, inexperienced. She ran off, scared probably." He stopped again, thinking.

"Emmett?" I asked, my voice unnaturally harsh. He looked back at me, coming back to reality.

"I went looking for Edward. I searched everywhere, but I couldn't find him. And then I…I smelled smoke—miles and miles away. I ran and saw…" he stopped, looking at me soberly. "I saw the fire. And I knew they had killed them," he finished, defeated. Fire. I recalled something—a piece of information stored in the back of my mind. _The only way to kill a vampire is to tear him to shreds and then burn the pieces. _

_Thrown in all directions_

_You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will  
(She's lost her will)  
Time is standing still_

I looked at him. He was sobbing, but no tears came out. And yet…through his whole explanation, I knew what Emmet said was true. I turned to Alice. As if waiting for me to accuse her, she started talking, quietly.

"He hadn't chosen his fate yet. That's why I couldn't see it. I only see the outcomes of the future once the choice is made. And Edward, he—he didn't know he was about to..." she trailed off. "Victoria's coven didn't know what they were going to do to him either. It was a surprise for both of them. Not like James. His plan was in his head from the start…Bella," she sighed, pleading. "I didn't know. I…" I turned away from her perfect face, willing this to just be a horrible dream. I heard a groan from the trees, and slowly turned. Charlie. Emmett went by his side, picking him up like a small doll and walking away.

"I'll take him to the hospital." He ran away, a blur in the forest. I staggered to the police cruiser. Alice took my hand, guiding me. She led me to the car, strapping me in and slowly driving off. I soon lost track of time, forgetting what had just occurred. I shook and trembled from the top of my head to the bottom of my heels. My body rocked back and forth, breathing still irregular. I didn't realize the car had stopped until Alice picked me up in her fragile hands and carried me up the path to the white mansion I had frequently visited. Jasper was suddenly at her side, cautious around me like always.

"What's wrong Alice?" he whispered. She set me down in the leather couch and turned to him, her pale face filled with poignant grief. A sudden wave of serenity filled the air and I knew Jasper was working his gift. Alice wrapped her hands around him, burying her head in his chest. I turned away, giving them some privacy. Jasper's gift seemed to have some effect on me. I was able to think better. To fight off the pain I knew was coming. To try not to scream out for _him. _To fight the hole in my chest, growing larger by the minute, for I knew that this time _he_ was never coming back. _He _was gone. _Edward._ I winced when I thought of him. _Edward_ is gone. Forever. My life, my love, my _heart_ had no meaning now. There was no reason to keep living anymore. No reason as to why I shouldn't just kill myself. For without Edward, there was no purpose in the world. Without Edward, I had no reason to _exist._

_He walks her home  
Now he walks alone  
The days they turn into years  
The eyes they drown in tears  
Can you hear me scream?_

I could feel the tears splashing down my cheeks now, and I had an urge to scream, to yell for them to bring him back. Before I could do anything too rash, I slipped out from the couch, running for the door. I could see Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie from the corner of my eye, faces distressed. They had obviously been filled in with the news. I needed to get out. I needed to leave the sad faces and run. Run somewhere, anywhere. Alice was already there, blocking the door.

"Bella, you have to…" I cut her off, with force.

"Leave me alone Alice," I tried to push her aside, but her stone body remained firm. I could feel it all coming out now. The pain...overwhelming…it was bursting to come out. I couldn't try to suppress the aching anymore. I couldn't choose to become numb and insensitive like before. It was different this time. Much different.

"He's gone!" I yelled, sinking to the ground. "Can't you see Alice? Nothing is going to be same anymore. Edward is _never coming back_!" I screamed, seeing her grimace. I could feel the stares of all of the Cullens now; see each and every one of their expressions filled with the deepest kind of remorse. "And what's even worse," I continued, quietly now. "Is that I know I'll never be able to see him again. Before, when he left…" I thought about the trip to Italy, the months before that I had spent emotionless. "I could live with that. Because I knew he was still out there, alive. But now," my voice cracked, and I fell silent, feeling the salty tears slip down my face.

"Oh, Bella," Alice sighed. She ran her cold hand across my face, wiping the tears. Her touch reminded me of another…Yet_ his_ touch was gentler, caressing. I couldn't bear to think of him anymore. I couldn't bear to bring back the memories. I slowly pushed myself off the floor, looking at all of the Cullens: their perfect figures and the gold-topaz eyes. Although this family was different, wrong. The god-like structure that had caught my eye the first time I laid eyes on him was missing. Missing. A pang of agony ripped my heart again, tearing it into pieces. I rocked back and forth in Alice's small arms, gasping for air and clutching at my chest. A sense of déjà vu rushed over me although I knew this time was different.

_Thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will  
(She's lost her will)  
Time is standing still_

"Come Bella," said Carlisle from the corner, face still filled with pain. "You should see how Charlie is." Alice gently pulled me up and led me to a car. She sat with me while Carlisle quickly drove off. I could hear her singing faintly. It was a beautiful song filled with grief and lament. I rested my head against her shoulder, forcing my exhausted self to stay up. If I drifted off to sleep, my subconscious mind would take over, bringing back memories of _him. _Memories I needed to keep under the surface: to try not to remember but not to forget either.

_The way we are  
The way we were  
(It's just a shadow of what's wrong)  
The time with you  
The time is stirred  
(I love you for so long)  
The hearts they turn  
They turn away  
(She says to go, please don't you cry)  
Love lost was found  
Night turns to day_

We reached the hospital in a short amount of time. Carlisle led me to the room where Charlie was. I walked in slowly, afraid of what I might see. There he was: laying in one of the white beds in the corner. His head was bandaged several times, and there were plenty of scrapes and bruises along his arms. I sighed in relief. It wasn't too bad—he'd recover. I only hoped that he wouldn't remember the finer details of what happened. I touched his hand lightly.

"He has a minor concussion and was scraped up pretty badly," Carlisle told me. "He should be fine after a couple of days." I turned to him.

"Thanks Carlisle—for everything." He nodded his head, eyes dull. "Do you mind taking me home Alice?" She watched me carefully and nodded, guiding me back to the car. With the rate Alice was driving we reached the house in no time. The rain was still pounding to the ground. I left the car silently, feeling Alice's gaze on my back. I reached down for the key under the eave and unlocked the door, walking inside. I didn't know what I had expected. Maybe that the rooms would be broken and detached, that the walls were ripped and torn, the furniture cracked. That the house would reflect exactly how I was feeling inside. But it was the same—just how I'd left it that morning.

_Thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will  
Time is standing still_

My feet led me to the kitchen drawer and I pulled it open, not sure exactly what I was doing. The shiny kitchen knives gleamed, as if beckoning me to use them. I picked up the longest one, running my finger softly over the blade. One little cut at the neck and I could end this misery, could end the awful pain still throbbing throughout my body. I sighed. _You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts…_I shuddered, shoving the knife back in the drawer. I owed too much to Renee and Charlie, especially with the new baby on the way. Committing suicide would hurt them…and I couldn't bear to think of how _he _would feel if he were still alive—especially the rest of the Cullens. No, I thought. Suicide wouldn't be the best plan. Not_ yet_, I mean…

_Thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will  
(She's lost her will)  
Time is standing still _

_Time is standing still_

_A/N: Questions? Comments? Concerns? _

_EMAIL OR REVIEW _

_Song: Time stands still by All American Rejects _


	5. One Chance

**Memo: Chapter is up! Lots of fluff!! Review at the end!!!**

**Disclaimer: Characters are property of Stephenie Meyer.**

**Warning: New Moon Spoilers**

"Bella you really don't have to stay here," Charlie said for the fifth time in two hours. "I'm perfectly ok. Trust me." Oh, I had heard that saying too many times before. One who had promised me he would stay forever; one who said he loved me unconditionally. The one who had proposed…I had never gotten the chance to follow up on that offer. I shook my head, refusing to think about that person. I could feel water brimming on the edges of eyes. I quickly wiped it away, leading Charlie to think that the real reason I was crying was due to the fact that I loved him and refused to leave the hospital. Of course, both of those ideas were absolutely true, but not for the reasons he was thinking. I couldn't leave…not now; not ever. Departing from this safe, quiet hospital and braving the big, bad world; facing the memories that were bound to send me into waves of depression again. I had no strength left. The crying jet lags were overpowering. I knew Charlie saw it in me too. My face probably looked like a dried up raison from all the water pouring down it every day. I chuckled, darkly, wincing as I thought of _him._ How his musical laughter sent my heart into palpations…I shook my head, forcing myself to look at Charlie.

"I know Dad. I would just feel better if I could stay here until you are absolutely healed." Charlie looked like he was about to argue back, but he said nothing once he saw the hard edge to my face. I turned, heading back to sit in the stiff chair that had become my house over the past week. I settled in, concentrating on the light brown fabric, willing my thoughts to go anywhere else but _there._ A light knock came from the door. I looked up suddenly, thinking that it was probably Dr. Gerandy. Carlisle had deliberately switched patients- something that gave me much relief. I couldn't bear to see another wonderfully beautiful face. My eyes widened in disbelief—the one person I least expected to come visit me in these times. Jacob Black. He stood in the frame of the door—a hulking figure. His russet colored skin and short cropped hair the same as ever. As if nothing had passed since the time I last saw him on the forest trail leading away from my house.

"Charlie," he acknowledged in the same husky voice that I remembered so clearly. He was careful not to come too close to him. Instead, he stood against the wall, gazing at him with an unreadable expression. "How are you?"

"I'm doing ok Jake. Just a minor car accident, that's all. How's Billy?"

"Billy's fine," he replied. "Is Renee doing ok? I heard she went into labor." Charlie sighed.

"Phil says she should have had the baby already. They might have to do a c-section to get it out now. Renee doesn't know about the accident. It'll just stress her out even more. Phil just told her there was a delay in the air traffic." Jacob seemed to sense Charlie's stress.

"Don't worry Chief. Everything will turn out ok,"

"I sure hope so," he muttered. Throughout this whole conversation Jacob hadn't spared one glance toward me. His eyes remained fixed on Charlie. I guess I deserved the cold shoulder. I used him to make me happy...as a means for the hole in my chest to stop burning. And then I left for Italy…to save the one I loved with every fiber in my body. It had all gone to waste now. My eyes burned and I struggled to push back the tears I knew were coming. I needed Jacob now more than ever. I wasn't going to use him anymore. I had to try…had to try and make him understand. I got up slowly and walked over to him.

"I'll be outside," I whispered, knowing that he could hear. I left the room, walking into a hallway past the vending machines. He was there already, keeping a safe distance from me. We were quiet, both of us staring at the other. I knew I had to say something first.

"Jake," I started. He held up a hand.

"I need to know something first. Are any of your bloodsucker friends here?" I cringed at the word.

"Nobody but Carlisle," I said, my voice cracking. He nodded curtly, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"I—I'm sorry Jake. For everything…You have to realize that…I mean I had to…" I trailed off, trying to organize my thoughts.

"Bella…," he said, a painful expression on his face. "You know you're the most important thing to me in my life. I just can't be your friend when _he's_ there. It can't work out. As much as I try to explain that to you, you'll never understand. They're our enemies. Even if you say he's different, I can't try to get along with you while he's there. It's never going to happen…Ever…" He paused, watching my face. Was this the time to tell him? To admit to Jacob what had really happened—that we could be friends now because _he_ was never coming back. Could I finally acknowledge what had passed? Could I tell Jacob that _he _had left this world…for good? I felt my legs swaying and I tried to hold onto something to steady myself. Jacob was already there. He lifted me in is bare arms, carrying me to a wooden bench with little effort.

"Bella?" he asked, anxiously. "Are you ok?" His hands touched my cheek, brushing away the stray locks of hair. I tried to speak, tried to tell him that my whole world was crashing down, that I felt like the hole in my chest was doubling, ripping me in two. I tried, but my voice remained lodged in my throat. I sighed, resting my head against Jacob's shoulder, crying until my eyes dried and there were no more tears left to spill…

_I recognized this scene. I could make out this was a dream from the faint outlines of my consciousness. A dream I'd had repeatedly. It started the same as always. My boots tramped across the sodden earth ground with no sound. It was eerie, quiet. The mossy trees surrounded me, a prism of green and shadows. I wandered on and on, searching. Searching for something, for someone…but I realized something suddenly. There was nothing I should be searching for… Nothing in this empty void that deserved my attention… Nothing except the nothingness…_

I woke up screaming, immediately clamping my hand around my mouth. I lifted my head. I was still in the hospital, in the far corner of Charlie's room, a blanket draped around my body. My thoughts were muddled and my clothes stuck to me. I needed a shower. I turned to squint at the clock above the door. 2:30…judging from the darkness it was early morning. I left the chair, taking a peek at Charlie and quietly stepping out the door. Of course, my foot managed to catch in the doorjamb and I found myself on the floor within a second. I winced, touching the tender bruise. Charlie's snoring stopped and then picked up again. I sighed, leaving the room and heading for the lobby. My thoughts wandered to Jacob. He hadn't seemed too mad that I was trying to become friends with him again. Or even that I had held on to his warm hand, sobbing to my hearts content. In fact, he seemed sort of…grateful…Maybe he was just being sympathetic…I could understand that. After what I had done to him, I wouldn't be surprised if he never wanted to talk to me again.

I left the warm hospital and stepped out into the cold, drizzly rain outside, using my jacket as a shield against the wet droplets pounding down. My truck was located at the far side of the parking lot. I speed walked -since I knew if I ran, I would fall- until I got to the door, opening it and stepping inside. My hands turned the key in the ignition, and I startled at the huge noise the engine was making. I sighed, trying to calm myself. The truck slowly steered out of the parking lot, heading for the house.

As much as I tried to keep my thoughts strictly focused on the road, the events that had just happened brought them back to the dreams. The dreams I had stopped having when _he_ came back…and now, they would continue to keep me up at night, shaking in fear and exhaustion. I shuddered. The haunting nothingness had crept back in my head…this time I feared the dreams would never go away. I clutched at my chest instinctively, gasping, tears streaming down my already dry face. I wrapped myself in the pain—welcomed it actually. I didn't want to keep everything bottled up anymore. I wanted to scream, to cry…to throw things. I needed to do something, _anything._ For if I was ever caught relaxing, even for one moment, I would end up thinking of _him_—something I could no longer bear to do.

I realized I had reached the house already. My pale hands relaxed their tight grip on the steering wheel, and I slowly eased out of the truck, trudging up to the house. I flicked the lights on and quickly walked up the stairs, entering my room. Even after sleeping for God knows how long, my body felt extremely tired. My feet sagged towards the bed and I lay on it, fully clothed. My lids shut and the last thing I remembered was _his _angelic face…

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

ALICE POV

"You know it has to be done Rose!" I shouted. "There is no other way. Bella is our only chance." Rosalie sighed, impatiently, flipping her blond hair around her shoulder.

"You can stay here all night trying to convince me, but it will never work. I won't have her coming in and taking Edward's place in the family."

"God Rosalie," I said, exasperated. "Don't you understand at all? I've seen it already. I _know_ what she can do. Bella could have enough power to bring Edward back!"

"He's gone Alice!" Rose yelled. "We don't have control over the dead!"

"She has a point," replied Emmett from the corner, looking at me intently. I sighed, frustrated.

"Carlisle can you please talk some sense into everyone?" I pleaded. He turned around to face Rose and Emmett.

"You know that Alice's visions are always correct…"

"It wasn't correct when you said she jumped off the cliff," Rose muttered, cutting him off.

"That was different," I retorted. Werewolves were involved then.

"And since the visions are accurate," Carlisle continued, as if never interrupted. "I think that she could be right. At least give this a try Rose. We're not replacing anyone. I promise." Emmett patted her back reassuringly. She turned and left, defeated. Emmett left with her. Esme, Jasper, and Carlisle were the only ones remaining.

"Don't force Bella into this," said Carlisle. "She may have changed her mind."

"I know," I promised. He and Esme left, giving Jasper and me privacy.

"I hope you're right Alice," said Jasper, holding my hand.

"Oh, I'm always right," I replied with a smirk although I felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Bella's gift could be the only chance we had left…

_A/N: …Review and tell me what you think of this chapter!!!_

_--loveatfirstsite2--_


	6. Sing Me Your Melody

**Memo: Finally, spring break and I actually had time to update! I haven't updated since February, but I'm trying to get back on schedule!**

**Disclaimer: All Mrs. Meyer's work…Just my plot**

**Previous Chapter: **

"_**Don't force Bella into this," said Carlisle. "She may have changed her mind."**_

"_**I know," I promised. He and Esme left, giving Jasper and me privacy.**_

"_**I hope you're right Alice," said Jasper, holding my hand.**_

"_**Oh, I'm always right," I replied with a smirk although I felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Bella's gift could be the only chance we had left…**_

* * *

****

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

It pierced through the windows, so blinding and bright. It was ironic, I thought. How something so beautiful could hit me with such brilliance, while I just lay there, consumed by its very presence. Normally, I would have bounded up to the window and greeted it, but I was different now—changed. The sight of the sun in this rainy town didn't excite me, but rather pained me—filling me with unwanted memories of a small meadow…_the _meadow—the very meadow in which I had seen the glorious angel gleaming like a thousand gems under the sun's radiance. But no longer was I the same. I hated how the rays hit the trees, dancing across the leafy greens. I hated how it looked so cheery outside while I felt ripped apart inside. And most of all, I hated how it reminded me of _him. _

_And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight_

_**SEPTEMBER**_

* * *

_**OCTOBER**_

* * *

_**NOVEMBER**_

* * *

_(Three months passed in Phoenix)_

"Bella, I'm leaving ok?" a hurried Renee shouted from the corner of the room, lifting her purse from the kitchen table while holding her keys in her teeth. I sighed, exasperated. _Did I still have to take care of her even now?_

"You forgot your wallet Mom," I reminded her.

"Oh, right. I knew I was missing something." She quickly walked over to the kitchen table, searching behind the glass jar of cookies.

"It's upstairs in your room. You left it in your jacket pocket when you came back from work. Remember?" She sighed, gratefully.

"What would I do without you Bells?" She ran upstairs quickly.

"Whatever you were doing before I came to Phoenix," I muttered to myself. It had become a daily routine now. Renee would head for her newest class while I stayed home, taking care of the three month old baby. It wasn't as hard as I'd pictured it. The baby, named Elizabeth after my grandmother's middle name, usually slept. By the time she woke up, Renee was already home, feeding her, and later, putting her back to sleep. Phil was gone for the week to play his baseball games in Florida. Renee had decided it would be better if she raised the baby here instead of in Jackson. It was fine by me. Anyway, I knew the surroundings better.

A jingling sound met my ears and I turned, seeing Renee running down the beige steps, keys in hand.

"Ok. I think I have everything." She turned to face me. "I'll be back around 4 o'clock. If Lizzy acts up, call me and I'll come strait home." I nodded. She squeezed me in an awkward one armed hug and left through the front door. I waited until I heard the car backing up from the parking lot. My hand instinctively reached for the baby monitor on the kitchen counter. Quiet breathing met my ears. She was asleep…as usual.

Well, that left me with a lot of time.

I tried to avoid having time on my hands.

I needed something to keep me busy.

My eyes scanned the bright yellow walls Renee had painted herself. A kitchen knife rested at the edge of the counter. The sides gleamed, and I felt oddly reassured by its presence—like it could protect me from anything.

Well that's stupid, I thought. I'd already lost the most important part of my life. What did I have to lose? As if some simple cutting knife could guard me from vam…I swallowed, forcing the word to disappear. Today wasn't the day I ended up on the floor, gasping and holding my chest. I'd been doing that daily now. I tried to hide it. When Renee was out at one of her classes or late at night, when the world was asleep, I would curl up and give myself up to the darkness. Feel the pain until I no longer could.

I turned away from the knife and tried to focus my thoughts elsewhere. A phone book rested by the TV.

There might be some good Chinese takeout place Renee might like. I looked under _Fast Food _and skimmed through the yellow pages. A name caught my eye.

Alice's Diner.

Two simple words set my heart beating frantically. _Alice._ It had been a little more than three months since I'd last seen her. I could have visited her anytime between the three week span when Charlie had gone home from the hospital. Of course, I'd been too busy trying to convince Charlie that I was all right and actually wanted to go to Phoenix. Or maybe it was just that I didn't want to see Alice. Would it hurt too much to see her pale beauty? Would it be reminiscent of _him_?

A sharp piercing sound met my ears, and I started. _It's just the phone._ I picked it up hesitantly.

"Hello?" I questioned.

"Bella," the voice on the other end sighed. I knew that voice. I would know that voice anywhere. _Alice._ Coincidence?

No, I didn't believe in coincidences.

"Alice?"

"Yes Bella, it's me. How are you?" she asked, tentatively.

"I'm ok," I replied, although I was far from being ok. "How did you get this number?"

"I asked Charlie." Of course. I'd forgotten how much Charlie liked Alice—he'd be willing to give her anything.

"Look, Alice. I know I haven't kept in touch with you. It's just…I…" She cut me off.

"It's fine Bella. Don't worry; I know you've been occupied." She paused. "I have to talk to you about something—something important."

"What is it?" I asked. She sounded like a mother trying to explain to her child that crayons were meant to stay on paper, not walls.

"It's about Edward," she said. My stomach lurched, and I clutched on to the counter for support. I hadn't heard his name spoken out loud in a very long time.

"Go on," I urged her, weakly…

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

ALICE POV

So I told her. Everything.

It was time she knew the truth after all. It was time she knew what she could do.

I told her of her gift—how it could possibly bring Edward back. She seemed on the verge of tears, so I tried not to push her.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive_

There was silence after I finished talking. I could hear her shallow breathing.

"Bella?"

"Alice," she choked. I knew she was crying now.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, no," she replied, hurriedly. "I'm not angry. I'm actually the complete opposite."

"So you're ok with this?" I asked, not at all believing what she was saying.

"Ok?" she replied, incredulous. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" _I didn't want to give you false hope._

"Bella, you don't understand. I am not even entirely sure if this will work! It was simply an idea that I thought could _possibly_ turn out alright. Key word: _possibly._" She exhaled sharply.

"Alice, you can see the future. You're _always _right. It has to work. I mean all these months I've been thinking that…that he's really gone for good." Her voice cracked. I could hear the pain in her voice, the longing. I sighed.

"Before you do anything, promise me that if this doesn't work you will not lapse into one of your depression stages, and that when you come to Forks, you'll live with us for a while." She remained silent.

"Bella…"

"I promise," she replied.

"Alright then. Oh, and Bella?"

"Yes?" she asked.

"Be safe." I hung up.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

BELLA POV

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

_Be safe. _The memory of those words haunted me like an old record playing repeatedly. He…Edward, I forced myself to think…had written those exact words in his elegant script.

I clutched at my stomach. The hole was slowly getting larger and larger. I didn't care though. It was time to start living for the future. Alice had said my gift could bring him back.

It was weird. Soon, if I could somehow manage to get past the treaty, I would posses the gift of time-according to Alice's vision-. It sounded as if it were meant for some great being. I couldn't even walk without tripping let alone be able to control the vast subject of time.

The baby monitor to my right whaled, and I ran up the stairs to check on Lizzy. She was still sleeping. _Bad dream…_

I walked to my room across the hall and sat on my bed, looking around at the familiar furniture. A CD player sat to the right, covered with dust. I walked over and turned the player on, listening intently. The rich music hit me with force. The melody was quiet and then sincerely sweet. It was the song he had made for me. I sighed, brushing the tears from my cheeks.

If Alice was right, by some fluke, I could actually bring Edward back. It was pathetic, but I couldn't help imagining him holding me now, singing the melody softly into my ear.

_I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am_

* * *

_A/N: Sort of slow, but it was necessary to make the transition to the next chapter._

_Song: Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls_

_Summary: Some people were confused about the very beginning. Bella is sort of looking out her window and sees the sun. Since Edward has died she hates everything bright and cheery so she's basically moping. The whole September, October, November was saying that three months have passed when Bella is in Phoenix…Hope that clears everything up!_

_Sorry again about being WAY behind schedule…It's been like a month or more since I updated!_

_**IT DOESN'T HURT TO PRESS THE BUTTON DOWN THERE AND REVIEW…**_

_**IT TAKES LIKE A MINUTE…**_

_**So please REVIEW**_


	7. Traitor

**Memo: Everyone wanted another update, so here it is. **

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned the books…Sadly, I don't **

**Warning: Chapter contains mild language. **

**Previous Chapter: **

**_I walked to my room across the hall and sat on my bed, looking around at the familiar furniture. A CD player sat to the right, covered with dust. I walked over and turned the player on, listening intently. The rich music hit me with force. The melody was quiet and then sincerely sweet. It was the song he had made for me. I sighed, brushing the tears from my cheeks. _**

_**If Alice was right, by some fluke, I could actually bring Edward back. It was pathetic, but I couldn't help imagining him holding me now, singing the melody softly into my ear.**_

**Chapter Quote: **_I'm not sure that I'm even-tempered enough to handle that...You probably wouldn't like it so much if I killed your friend._

**

* * *

**

_I was walking down an isolated street, the breeze gently tugging at my hair. A harmony wound through the air- soft at first, but continually increasing in volume. It sounded like howling—like wolves. I picked up my pace, turning down another corner. Something cold gripped my wrist and I whirled around. It was Edward. His eyes stared into mine with a cold and hard intensity. He was afraid. I tried to speak, but he hushed me._

_"Time," he whispered. "You are running out of time." He turned and vanished, eaten up by the darkness. _

_I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight _

I woke up screaming. Ever since Alice had called a week ago, I'd been having the same dream repeatedly.

And I always woke up screaming.

I didn't know what it was that scared me. Maybe the eerie song of the wolves howl, or Edward, telling me I was running out of time. Running out of time to do what? To bring him back?

I groaned, clutching at my sides and bunching up in the blankets. It hurt too much to think about him.

_And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't stand the pain _

"Bella?" A voice called. It was Renee.

"I'm fine," I replied. Renee didn't have much experience with the screaming. The first time I'd woken up like that, she'd charged into the room with a baseball bat in her hands, looking around for some escaped murderer strangling me to death. It was very scary—more for me than for her.

After I'd explained to her that I sometimes got these bad dreams, she'd relaxed, and now, she no longer came in with a bat in her hands.

I had also told her about moving back to Forks. She hadn't seemed that surprised. She knew I liked it there. Anyway, we had already made a deal before even coming here: when Phil arrived from Florida, I would return to Forks. Phil had already come back a few days ago. My flight was scheduled for tomorrow morning. Hopefully Renee would be alright with just Phil and Lizzy.

My eyes glanced upward to the clock above my small desk. 10:30. It was Saturday, so Renee wasn't going to any of her classes. I should probably get up anyway, I thought. She didn't like it when I slept in too late. She said 'I was wasting the whole day in bed'. I sighed, shuffling towards my bathroom. I really wasn't a morning person. Sure, I'd wake up early if I had something to look forward to. I hadn't minded waking up _before._ My life actually had some meaning then. It was different now though. Everything was different now.

I pulled on loose shorts and a blue tank top, pulling my tangled hair up into a messy bun. I glanced at the mirror. I looked ghostly…too pale and sallow. I tried to fix a smile on my face, but it hurt too much and looked…out of place. I sighed, rushing down the steps to the kitchen. I tripped on the last step and caught myself at the last second, holding on to the banister.

Renee was at the kitchen, washing some type of food off her hands. I wondered what she was attempting to cook now. Phil was in the living room, holding Lizzy. The all American family. Well, sort of.

"Here Mom, I can help you with that." She turned around, a grateful look on her face.

"Thanks."

"What were you making?" I asked, curiously.

"Pancakes. But I was watching Lizzy and the batter sort of burnt." _Burnt? _How could you burn pancake batter? I wasn't going to ask. I set to work cleaning the pans and pouring a new mix in the pot. I could feel her gazing at me.

"What?" I asked. She sighed.

"What am I going to do when you leave? It'll be so boring around here."

"I'll come back to Phoenix. It's not like I'm leaving forever Mom." _It's not like I'm going to leave you for all eternity. It's not I'll rip your heart into tiny little pieces, causing you to see no reason to live anymore. I'll still be here Mom. At least you'll still have a purpose in life. _

_How could this happen to me  
I made my mistakes  
Got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me _

"I know, but it's not the same without you." She paused. "You know, I've been meaning to ask you. How was Forks? Are you still dating that guy? What's his name…Edmund or something…?" My fingers dug into my palms. Searing pain entered my mind. I tried to fight it back. I tried not to double over, clutching my chest. I tried not to show her how much it was hurting me.

_Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again _

"It's Edward Mom, and we're taking a—a break for a while." My voice cracked in two places.

"Oh, I'm sorry honey. I thought you two had a sort of connection..."

"We did." I'd told her only part of the truth, but the pain still came nevertheless…

_How could this happen to me  
I made my mistakes  
Got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me _

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

ALICE POV

"I called you all here for one reason and one reason only—to talk about Edward." Esme grimaced and I could tell Emmett was straining not to show his pain. We were all seated at the dining table. Everyone was quiet, wrapped in their own thoughts.

"Now you all know that Bella doesn't know the truth. And we can't tell her. She's not going to be able to handle it. She thinks Victoria's coven killed him. If she finds out the truth—that Jacob Black and his pack was the one that killed Edward, she'll commit suicide for sure." Emmett's fist landed on the table, sending a crack through the middle.

"He's a stupid bastard!" he yelled. "He killed Edward. The whole pack ganged up on him. I saw it with my own eyes! Why are we just sitting here, shrugging it off likes it's no big deal?"

"Quiet Emmet," I shouted. He looked at me, a murderous look in his eyes. "You think that I don't care? You think that Edward doesn't _matter to me?_ He was my brother too and I loved him." My voice softened. "I'm saying this for our own good. If we go after one of them, there will be a war for all of us."

I looked at each and every one of them. Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle. I couldn't afford to lose anyone else. Carlisle was the first to speak.

"We'll see what happens. If Bella can work it out, she will. Until then, we shouldn't do anything." And with that, he got up and left the room.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

BELLA POV

The phone rang. I jumped, startled.

"Bella, it's for you," Renee shouted. I looped around the bed and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I heard the click as Renee hung up.

"Bella, it's me." I heard a rough voice say.

"Jacob?" I questioned.

"Yeah." He paused.

"What is it Jacob?"

"Are you ok Bella?" he asked, shakily. "I mean is everything ok?" He seemed worried. I hadn't told him about…about Edward…had I?

"I'm fine Jacob. Are _you_ ok? You seem…different."

"Yeah, I'm…I'm fine. I just wanted to check up on you. See how you're doing."

No, I remembered. I hadn't told him about…well, about _him._

"Um," he said. "I…I have to go. I'll talk to you later Bells."

"Bye Jake." The click sounded and I put the phone back. There was something in his voice. _Something, _that just…just wasn't right.

I sighed. I would have to visit him when I got back. I wondered what he was up to…

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

JACOB POV

"She didn't sound that bad," I said, hanging up the phone.

"See?" said Paul. "She's fine." I shook my head.

"I know Bella. She covers up her emotions really well. If she finds out that we were the ones that killed him…"

"It was a mistake Jacob," Sam said, lounging on the counter. "We thought he was part of the red-head's pack. He shouldn't have even been there in the first place. Don't blame this on yourself. You'll just make things worse than they already are." I shrugged, and walked out of the house into the misty evening. I didn't want to hurt Bella. I wasn't even planning on killing the bloodsucker…He was just…there…She would have to understand. We were enemies. It was in our blood to kill the other. I sighed, shoving my hands into the pockets of my torn up jeans.

The bloodsucker didn't mean much at all to me, but to Bella…now that was a different story…

* * *

_A/N: Didn't think you would expect that twist in the story! I wasn't even planning on writing it that way, it just sort of came like that…Anyway, I hope you liked it! _

_Summary: So Bella's plane leaves tomorrow for Forks…Bella doesn't know who killed Edward. She always thought it was one of the vampires in Victoria's coven…Only the Cullens and Sam's pack know. Alice is keeping the truth from Bella because she doesn't want to cause her more grief. How would you feel if your best friend murdered your one true love? _

_I don't want it to seem like Jacob is this evil wolf who kills Bella's love on purpose…Jake and the pack thought that Edward was helping Victoria hurt Bella and Charlie. And so, they basically all ganged up and killed him… _

_Song: Untitled by Simple Plan _

_…Don't worry, the story will get happier as it moves along… _

_**REVIEW **_

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_**AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT! **_

_**Confused? **_

_**Email me or Review me your questions… **_


	8. You Will Be The Death Of Me

**Memo: Isn't it funny how we lose track of time? Well not everyone else, mosly just me. Or mabe it's just because I procrastinate, but whatever. Yes, it has been a very long time since I updated, but what can I say? Even though I love writing, I can't do it all the time.**

**Disclaimer: NO DISCLAIMERS ANY MORE. CHECK PROFILE.**

**Previous Chapter: **

_**She would have to understand. We were enemies. It was in our blood to kill the other. I sighed, shoving my hands into the pockets of my torn up jeans.**_

_**The bloodsucker didn't mean much at all to me, but to Bella…now that was a different story…**_

**Chapter Quote:**_"Oh Bella, you will be the death of me. I swear you will." _

* * *

_I think I'm drowning  
asphyxiated  
I wanna break this spell  
that you've created_

_You're something beautiful  
a contradiction  
I wanna play the game  
I want the friction__  
__  
_xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

JACOB POV

It could no longer be ignored. I _knew_ she was hurt. Badly. I couldn't try and pretend this didn't happen. Because it did. _I_ had caused this. It was all _my_ fault. He wouldn't be dead if it weren't for me.

The seconds would melt into minutes, the minutes to hours, the hours to days. I forced myself to think of anything else…_anyone_ else besides Bella. But as much as I tried, I couldn't get my mind off her.

The pack kept trying to reassure me that she would forgive me…sooner or later. I doubted it. Why would she? _Look at the facts Jacob. _I was the one that killed him…and she…she obivously loved him. She would hate me for the rest of my life if I told her.But was it better to lie- to keep it it from her for as long as I lived, to not be able to stand looking into her soft face, to pretend I had no part in his death- when I was the reason behind it all?

Or was it better to tell her the truth? To accept what I had done, knowing that she may likely never look me in the face again.

The battle waged inside of me. One side would have to win. Once and for all.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

BELLA POV

**4:15 PM**

"Are you sure you brought everything?" Renee asked, for what seemed like the tenth time in a row. I sighed, pretending to check my packing list for her satisfaction.

"Yes Mom." She turned to face me. I could see tears starting to form in her eyes. "Aw, don't cry. I'll still come and visit." I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed gently. I could feel her shaking slightly. I let go and gathered my measly luggage, looking at Phil. He was more conservative. I hugged him once, and let go, facing the gate.

"Now boarding first class seats," the announcer said. "First class seats, please board." I looked up at Renee.

"I'm going up after this." She hugged me again, and looked down at me with a stern face.

"Now remember to be on your best behavior with Charlie, and don't get into any trouble." I could catch the joking tone in her voice. I nodded.

"Seat numbers twenty-two D to thirty-two, now boarding." That was me.

"I'll miss you," Renee said.

"I'll miss you too," I replied. I turned to leave.

"Remember to e-mail me Bella Swan, or I'll have you sent back to Phoenix immediately."

"Of course," I said, sarcastically. I walked up to the desk, handing the flight attendant my boarding pass, and waved, gloomily, seeing Renee's happy face and Phil's serious one. The attendant ushered me on, and I quickly walked up the flight ramp, turning to catch one last glimpse of the brilliant Phoenix sunshine soaking through the windows…I wouldn't be seeing that in Forks.

………

"Please remain seated until the plane comes to a complete stop. Make sure your seats are up to their first position and the food tray is locked into place. Thank you for flying with United airlines. Be sure to join us again for our many flights all over the country!"

I sighed, warily, staring out the window at the dark clouds and rain washed ground. Yep. I was definitely in the U.P.

The seat belt sign flickered off, and I slowly got to my feet, stretching. People were beginning to get out as well, lifting up the compartment above and taking out their suitcases. I slid out to the aisle and began walking down to the air hostess at the far end, showing the passengers toward the exit.

My feet caught on some unknown object as I was walking, and I tripped, spreading my hands out to catch my fall. Before I hit the ground, however; strong, sturdy arms caught me and gradually lifted me up. I stumbled awkwardly, looking at the person who had caused me to lose the bruises I would have had otherwise.

He was a man with dark, wavy hair and catlike eyes. His skin was pale and harsh. He could have passed as a vampire, but he didn't have the hard muscles or the maroon/topaz eyes. Instead, his eyes were an ordinary brown, and his build was slightly smaller than that of the pale beauties I could recall so easily. _**A/N: Remember this guy!)**_

The passengers behind me were getting restless, what with me standing in the middle of the aisle and all. I turned my head from him and continued down the plane, this time, being careful not to trip on anything.

………

**7:23 PM**

By the time I had finished getting my measly luggage from the baggage claim, riding the shuttle back to the main building where the parking structure was located, and arrived at the cab, it was already close to 7:30 PM.

Charlie wasn't there to pick me up like before. Supposedly, there was some robbery in the Newton's store and he had to be there to check it out.

I didn't mind that much. Charlie and I would probably only say a few words on the ride back anyway.

I signaled for a cab, and when it came, gave the driver the directions and address, sitting inside the back seat that smelled faintly like tobacco with a hint of peppermint.

The ride was long and slow, and soon, I could feel myself nodding off to sleep…

………

_I was walking down the same street again- wandering aimlessly. I waited for what I knew was coming. Edward gripped my arm and I whirled around._

_"Time. You are running out of time," he whispered._

………

"Miss, miss!" A voice yelled, seemingly far away. "Wake up!" Something shook me, and my eyes fluttered open. I looked up into the curious face of the driver.

"Are you ok?" he questioned. "You were screaming." I gulped. My mouth tasted like sour bile.

"Yeah," I muttered. "It was probably a bad dream." There really was no need to tell him the details.

He stopped the car and looked back at me.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" he asked again. I frowned.

"I'll be fine." I handed him the money and slowly got out of the cab, grabbing my suitcase from the trunk.

I made my way up the street. The taxi slowly left, and I was alone. I'd told him to drop me by the road. I wasn't going to Charlie's house. Instead, I was heading toward _his_ mansion…Edward's. His name no longer caused me to double over, clutching my chest, but when no one was looking, that's exactly what would happen. I couldn't bear the thought of him. Just imagining his perfect face would cause me to remember so many things I wanted to keep uncovered. I didn't want to think of him. Yet, I was heading towards his house right now, where all the memories would start to come back.

The rain had gone down to a slight drizzle when I finally reached the barely visible path to the house. I stepped through the trees and stopped immediately.

It was exactly the same. I don't know what I'd expected…maybe black drapes in place of the soft white ones, or stakes pushed through the doors. But nothing had changed. Coming to that realization was even worse. It was too overwhelming for me. I couldn't think properly at all. One name screamed through my mind over and over. _Edward._

And for the first time in a long time, I acknowledged the truth.

There was_ no_ hope left. There was _no_ love. There was_ nothing_ left in Pandora's Box. He was gone…never coming back.

Right then and there, I accepted the truth.

Edward had died. And there was nothing I could do about it.

I sunk to the ground, collapsing.

The hole inside me had achieved its goal.

Finally, it destroyed me.

_You will be the death of me  
You will be the death of me_

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Hey everyone! I hoped you liked it! Again, sorry for the late update._

_**Chapter Summary:**_

_In the first part, Jacob is debating whether to tell the truth to Bella or lie. Then Bella's going on her airplane to Forks. By the time she reaches, its 7:30. She takes a cab since Charlie is occupied with a robbery at the Newton's…which rarely happens so he has to be there to figure stuff out since he's the chief police. _

_Later, Bella has the same dream again and the driver wakes her up, asking if she's ok. She says yes, of course, hiding her true feelings. He drops her off at a side street and she heads off to the Cullens house (Alice had told her to come here first three chapters ago)._

_When she sees the house, she finally tells herself that Edward is really dead and nothing can change that._

_From shock mostly she collapses on the driveway._

_**Song:**__ Time Is Running Out by Muse._

_**Oh yeah! PLEASE REVIEW! **_

_**I NEED IDEAS/THOUGHTS/COMMENTS/WHATEVER U HAVE TO TELL ME!!!!!**_

_As always,_

_--loveatfirstsite2--_


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